There's no question

Perfect love drives out fear.
1 John 4:18

God is perfect love, so wherever He is, fear can't be. 
Which sounds nice, sounds great.

But the thing is fear, that dread and pain to know the future, to escape loss, to avoid relationship woes, doesn’t simply step aside in silence when God's around, waiting for its turn with the talking stick. They don’t coexist in the same room bidding for my attention. 

Just the scent of God as He walks through the front gate forces fear to scramble off the couch and toss its coffee cup in the kitchen sink in a wild panic before slithering under the back door. 

The authority of God is so clear, so complete. 
There’s no question whose home.

But what I was trying to do was hold both, listen to both, house both.
I thought it was just standard to give them both the talking stick and base my direction on this weird cocktail of my life’s anxieties and my Father’s character. 
Then I was surprised that I was conflicted, restless, uneasy

I can’t have both.
I can’t have both an adamant attachment to fear and the complete love of my Father. 

Fear can only reign in the portion of my life that I haven’t let experience the whole influence of His love. Fear can only reign in the ratio I want to keep hidden for myself. 
So, if I didn’t want the entire expanse of Him, I could settle for where I’m at right now. I could continue to tirelessly wrestle in this dynamic.

But fear has no home where God has declared peace,
where He has declared His presence.

And I am such a home. 

A daughter declared over.
A daughter not won with fear, but with perfect love.